MEMOIR WRITING RESOLUTIONS need to be made and kept. Let’s make some, so that you meet your memoir writing goals. I think of these as resolutions, though they can be input at any time of the year. So start now. Today. Here we go. Ready? Here is the first: No more writing prompts. That’s right.
From this day onward, you will ignore all writing prompts and exercises. That’s right. You are going to give them up, as well as all other manners of nonsense, and engage in what I call writing with intent. To do so, you merely have to stop frittering away your time, and really participate in this glorious pursuit called writing memoir. We are, after all, waiting to hear from you.
Get ready. It’s so much easier than it sounds.
No More Writing Prompts
When you practiced with prompts, something always flowed, though all of it remains in some notebook. Much like playing tennis with a pro who hits every shot right to you, those exercises convinced you that you had this writing thing nailed. But then you found that when alone in a room trying to write, it’s mind-slammingly hard. Sound familiar?
We are going to change all that.
Writing is good, honest work. And it cannot be reduced to generic writing exercises and pre-fabricated prompts. And ask yourself these questions: Have any of those ditties ever gotten you published? Has scribbling from the right side of your brain, or getting in touch with your angel’s feather, or keeping morning pages put you where you want to be as a writer? After reading one of those books of exercises, or subscribing to yet another web-based, prompt-list newsletter, have you actually finished that letter to your child that you long to give her? I doubt it. I suspect that those manners of nonsense have instead stolen what little time you had for writing.
How do I know? Because my classes are filled with people recovering from those very exercises, people whose sole relationship to writing was practicing. Also in my classes: aspiring authors who detoured into inertia after listening to parents, spouses, nuns, or teachers tell them that memoir writing has no value.
Its value is inestimable. Which is why you have to be taught to do it.
Let’s Write
You want to write? Then let’s write. Start by making Resolution One: No more writing prompts.
Maybe it is only now occurring to you that you want to write down some scenes from your life. That’s wonderful, since it is never too late—or too early—to begin. Perhaps a link to this blog was sent to you from someone who wants to read those tales you tell. What a lovely compliment the giver is offering by encouraging you to write it all down. Don’t worry if you think of yourself as inexperienced: You’ll be fine. Because of the few things I know for certain, one is that everyone has a story. That, and that whether you are a beginner or someone who has written for years, your challenges are nearly the same, since memoir writing is a great equalizer, smoothing the playing field to a large degree, while pocking it with the very same hazards for all.
And don’t worry if you’ve never kept a journal, notebook or scrapbook, and can’t imagine how you’ll remember the details of life. Throughout this blog I am going to tell you tales that will stir up your subconscious, as well as teach you methods for researching your own life. We’ll get to your material. I promise.
All Together Now
So let’s begin together, now, literally on the same page, and with a tacit agreement that from this moment on, that there will be no more writing prompts. We will write for real. With a goal. Maybe that goal is to get on NPR. Good. The back page of The New York Times Sunday Magazine, perhaps? Fine. Maybe you want to publish a book? Great. Maybe your intent is to give your spouse the gift of a tale from your marriage. Perfect. Maybe it’s to write the best damn eulogy for an upcoming memorial service. Your intent is superb. Let’s go. Maybe your intent is to tell your kids the story of their ancestors’ emigration, or about the crazy middle-of-the-night rush to the hospital that resulted in their births. Even better. And here’s some good news: When you write memoir, you’ll be writing what you know. That’s right: What you already know. From now on, that’s your job, and nowhere in that job description does it include lighting a scented candle, throwing on a shawl, and scribbling exercises or prompts in a notebook until you get bored and head back to your macramé.
From this minute forward, your intent is to write with purpose. And trust me when I tell you that the difference between morning pages and writing with purpose is the difference between a wish and a prayer.
Ellie O'Leary says
Shawls and candles. Been there done that.
marion says
We’ve all been there, which is why I am speaking out against them. Thanks for checking in, sister. Come back soon.
Tina says
I have not allowed myself to do any exercises, but then again, I have not written either-well, seriously, that is since my graduate thesis. This is a new year and new days awaiting and I promise to write!
marion says
Hi, Tina. Welcome to the blog. Glad you have not been distracted by the writing prompt. This is a new year. Write on, sister. And let me know how it goes.
Grace Peterson says
I’m in a slightly different place. I’ve got my memoir finished and I’d like to publish in 2012. Unfortunately I can’t get either an agent or a small press editor to give me the time of day. Not even so much as a “no thank you.” I see a lot of sites on the Internet for writing memoir and other genres. And I see a lot of information on publishing and query writing but nothing specific to the memoir genre. I guess I’m just venting a little. I’ll never stop writing but I wonder sometimes if it’s worth it. Nobody likes to be ignored. :)
marion says
Hi, Grace. Welcome to my website. While I am not happy about your situation, I am delighted that you have posed this question. Three years ago, as the recession bore down and things began to look really bleak, I had a choice to make. Despite being a well-published author, with three books from major publishers (Houghton Mifflin, Simon & Schuster and Bloomsbury) I could find no interest in a book I wanted to write. It was an irreverent little book on how to write memoir. So I self-published it, got myself a website, went online, promoted it like mad, and sold it all over the place, speaking at public venues, talking about self-publishing, and generally learning a great deal about how to market a book. Then I took it to my agent, who loved it, and took it out to auction, where, with a new title, new pages and a fabulous new cover, it was released as The Memoir Project, a book that was listed in the number one spot last week in the Washington Post’s round-up of books on writing. That little book and I did 35 minutes this summer on NPR’s Talk of the Nation, and have been featured in major newspapers, chosen as a hot summer read by Boston’s fabulous public radio station, WBUR, and gt picked up by Audible books as an audio edition.
My point? You want to publish your book, Grace? Publish your book. Don’t let anybody stop you. If you want a tried-and true publisher that has been in the business for more than 60 years, go see Vantage Press. For mine, I chose to go with a local business, right in my own backyard. Either way, go get ’em.
Diane Esser says
That is the best advice ever! Yes, self publish! I found Amazon’s publishing div.Create Space has 24/7 technical support. Also, they have the capabilities to do a Kindle conversion. I found them to be a slice of self publishing heaven complete with templates and tech help. It first goes to the e store, where you can then let everyone you know that it is available. After about 4 weeks, it goes into a major distribution channel including Barnes and Noble, and is available on the main website Amazon.com.
For a fee, they offer a national press release, which I have opted to do in hopes of a broader distribution, including hopes that a mainline publisher/agent will see it:)
All this because of Marion’s encouragement and Go Get Em field cry:)
marion says
Many thanks, Diane.
I really believe in the self publishing model, as I see you do, as well.
Thanks for the support. We need to stand by one another, yes?
Please come back soon for more.
LORI R.M. says
Hello Marion,
I have been compelled to write memoirs. I have no schooling, training, classes etc. I have no shawl, oh wait yes maybe i do. I have had this overwhelming urge to write since i lost my step father and my dad within 3 days of each other in feb/march of this year. I only wish they would have written memoirs, or that i would have asked them about every nook and cranny of their lives. These two men I knew very well and then didnt know at all. I have no children of my own to pass down my history, but again i just have this obsession to write something. I am one of those who wonders “am I doing it right” so i havent even tried. I look forward to your blog to jar me out of my scary place and begin to open up my mind. BUT! i have one question…”where do I start????” thank you :)
Diane Esser says
I am going to jump in here just because your of your line “I lost my step father and my Dad withing three days of each other”. That alone is a compelling sentence.
I took Marion’s workshop in Chautauqua and she knows intrinsically there is a good story in each one of us…more than one. Her The Memoir Project book will take you out of your scary place:)
marion says
Hi, Lori. This is such a great question.
Starting writing can be as easy as picking a day, clearing off a spot to work on that day, and knowing what it is you want to write. That’s for some people. For the rest of us, there are myriad obstacles in our way to that goal, which is why I write this blog, and wrote my irreverent little book. I wish the world was filled with more and better memoir. So, I am doing what I can to encourage that.
If you are able, I can highly recommend the women’s writing week at Pyramid Life Center, the link for which I am providing here. I’ve taught there, as well as many other places, though that one is affordable, supportive and divine. See the “programs” tab. There is also a marvelous weekend memoir workshop preceding the week-long retreat. Lots of options there.
I have also taught at the great Chautauqua Institution, which is peerless.
Other such retreats exist all over the country, I am sure, but that is my all-time favorite.
But do let me see if I can help you here a bit. I am thoroughly intrigued by your gorgeous line, “These two men I knew very well and then didn’t know at all.”
This is a universal theme, knowing and not knowing, and I encourage you to pursue that.
See if the posts on my blog get you going. I look forward to hearing more.
Dee Matthews says
Hi Lori and any others out there looking for a place to start- August 14-16, 2012 at Stump Sprouts Resort in Hawley, Massachusetts, Maureen Buchanan-Jones will be hosting a writer’s workshop. She is trained in the Amherst Writers and Artists method of facilitating writing workshops. I highly recommend this workshop! I went as a beginning writer two summers ago and I am going back again this summer. AWA is a wonderful method of writing and receiving feedback on your writing-I promise you-NO RED PEN MARKS ON YOUR PAPER-just very helpful, kind and caring words about what is strong in the piece, what stays with you from the writing. Email me and I will give you Maureen’s email so you can chat with her about the workshop.
marion says
Hi, Dee: Welcome to the blog. How generous. Thank you.
Fred Setterberg says
Fiction versus memoir: I said, “I’m going to write, and every time the impulse hits me to lie, I’m going to give myself license to do it and see what happens.” Moving between what was real and what was not seemed to be the key to hitting the right tone.
http://www.modernluxury.com/san-francisco/story/oakland-the-50s-local-author-qa
Cynthia Briggs says
My memoir writing experience has been the reverse to most others. I wrote what I called a nostalgic cookbook only to learn later by a small (self-pub) press/publisher that I’d already written my memoir. Basically, I’ve written the memoir, now how to sell/market it? The book does better if I’m actually on location, in other words, if I’m there to point out or re-live stories in the book, people buy it. Sales on the internet, such as Amazon or my website, are really slow. The book seems to need the personal touch to sell, which isn’t all bad and this also confirms it’s an evergreen type book with slow sales over a l-o-n-g period of time.
Any way one looks at it, nostalgia or memoir does not fly off the shelves unless you’re a famous person or a close friend or relative to a celeb. For me it’s gratifying to touch people’s hearts by visiting the good-old-days with them or by making them wish they’d been there. I know I’ve written well and conveyed my message when tears well up in my readers’ eyes. There’s not a feeling in the world like it.