Writing Memoir by Making Lists: It’s as Easy as One, Two, Three
LISTS ARE THE NEW BACON. Or the new black. Or the new fill-in-the-blank however you like. I write them, I read them, I encourage others to do the same. Writing memoir by making lists is a gas. Yes, memoir lists. And today is the anniversary of one of the best memoir lists ever written.
It was on this day in 1839 that Charles Darwin took a wife. In anticipation of that event, he made a list. And not just any list. Oh, no. And this from a man who thought and wrote some of the most “dangerous” thoughts and writings in the history of the world, or so said his critics at the time. If you think the origin of species was a dicey thing to ponder writing, read his list of the pros and cons of marriage. Just a test: Which side — pro or con — do you think having less money for books was assigned? You can see Darwin’s list here.
Now What?
But after you read it, what are you going to do with it? Merely chuckle over it and forward it to a friend? Not if I can help it. And not if you are writing with intent. If you’re doing that, you will let that list provoke you, which it can, in many directions. I consider Darwin’s wedding as one of the emotional high holy days of my calendar years. And you can see many more such dates on my interactive memoir calendar, where you’ll also be linked to related blog posts and essays that such dates might inspire.
Recently I found a like-minded, list-loving person online who has the most marvelous website called Lists of Note. The website is my new bacon, or whatever it was that previously held the number one spot on my list of favorite things, and now has been bumped to number two.
Writing memoir by making lists is a sure-fire way to get your memoir writing where you want it to be. Want more list inspiration? See my 15 Rules for Us Girls to Live By, or this one, A List that Helps with Loss. And then write your own.
I love lists also. But I seldom find them helpful in making big decisions. The pros and cons on paper can never do justice to the deepest joys and sorrows. Nor can we accurately anticipate the nature of them. It would be interesting to see how Darwin might have evaluated his own list 30 years later.
Yes it would.
I realize that this might be missing the point of this exercise (ack! didn’t mean to use the “E” word, LOL) but what struck me wasn’t the list itself, but the footnote. I didn’t know that Darwin married his cousin. It makes sense that the father of evolution decided not to water down his genius by marrying outside of his gene pool.
That got me thinking about marrying one’s cousin, which, although not common anymore, is still legal, at least here in New York. Were I to marry one of my three male cousins, would I choose the homosexual, the cross dresser or the alcoholic? Decisions, decisions….
God I love my family! :D
Ah, lovely. You are thinking in propinquities, one of my favorite things to do, teach and learn. Look where it’s leading you. Enjoy the journey, but do not forget the whole idea was to write something, and given the marvelous phrasing — oh yeah, and topic — “the homosexual, the cross-dresser or the alcoholic, ” it seems you’ve got just the material, yes?
And this is exactly where I get stuck. I’ve got a bunch of great starting points, kernels of ideas. But when I say, “this is something to write about” I have no idea how to go about it, no idea how to make it bigger.
Hi, Karen: Great question. And the one I hear most often. You make it bigger by asking yourself, what is this about? Start with that post, and then read others on that topic on the blog. It’s a process of paring down and unpacking from the huge story of your life. Let me know how it goes.
I don’t consider anything in my life to be the least bit interesting or noteworthy. So when I come up with and consider these little nuggets of ideas, I usually conclude that they are about nothing. And since Seinfeld cornered the market on that over a decade ago, I end up dropping the idea and going back to cleaning the house, or taking a walk or doing anyhing that’s not writing.
Life is absolutely lived in the small moments, Karen. I really believe that. And much like success in life, success in life really depends on what details you choose to emphasize. Look to those small moments and find your stories.
You had me at “bacon.” Something about organization with applewood smoked that just makes the whole world right.
I think making lists can be a powerful way of writing memoir. I made a list describing all the things I carried around in my purse during my father’s long illness a few years ago. It’s one of the truest things I’ve ever written about my life during that time. By the way – I’m a great fan of your book “The Memoir Project.” Wish you were doing an online class I could take advantage of.
Cheers,
Judith
I was going to make a list of ideas for writing and the first item on the list was “Things We Shared.” I was going to set the list aside, when I started thinking about the things my 4 sisters and I shared. I began making a list, free writing, stream of consciousness, or free association, not sure what it’s called, but before I knew it my list covered three pages. Making the list was a memoir in itself. So many feelings, so many years, so many obstacles and every now and then something that made me smile.