New Memoir: What To Read, Which to Leave on the Shelf & Which to Say Nasty Things About Here
A THIRD CATEGORY has been created in my semi-regular memoir reviews. As you may remember, I already have a category for memoirs I look forward to reading, as well as one for those books I would not accept as a gift if they were ribboned to a Bulgari bracelet. Being the reasonable woman that I am, I always thought those two somehow covered all the publications in my favorite genre. I was wrong.
Imagine my surprise to discover that I need a third category, one designated to those books written by people who aren’t any good at what they do, so they turn to – wait for it – writing. You might remember the disdain I have for brain surgeons who suggest to me over canapes that once they retire they plan to write. Those guys look good to me after hearing what’s coming to the bookstore shelves.
Maybe you’d like to help name this category. I’ll tell you who is in it, and you feel free to add a writer to it, name the category or merely comment on how much therapy I really should get.
Here are the new entries:
- Joey Buttafucco. Lousy husband.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger. Ditto.
- Demi Moore: Lousy actress.
The bare hack minimum for writing memoir is to have some area of expertise, remember? Don’t remember Joey’s area of expertise? Me neither. And Demi? Hers, apparently, is her marriage. And yeah, yeah, yeah, I can hear you from here. Arnold was a great bodybuilder, you’re right. And if the book was only about that I might read it. It’s not.
Now to my next dilemma. What to do with Monica Lewinsky? I admit, I’m torn about this one. Not that I would ever read the book she is pondering writing. I won’t. And not that I am the least bit torn over how I feel about the reported $12 million she was offered to write it. I’m quite sure I know precisely how I feel about that money going to one person when, instead, it could have supported oh, 100,000 other writers for good pieces of non-fiction. No, please do not misunderstand me. What I’m torn about here is if she is in category two or three. After all, how would I know if she was any good at the one thing she did to get famous?
Let me hear from you.
These are exactly the books I skip over in the library memoir section at the library – they’re easy to spot because they have their pictures on the cover!
I have a great memoir for you to put on your list! “Book of Mormon Girl” by Joanna Brooks. Let me know when/if you read it and what you think about it.
The quote that comes to mind is: “There’s no accounting for taste.” or something like that and what a waste of paper.
hmmm. this IS a toughy. how about…No insight in sight
reserved for those who did dumb things and just because they are famous or infamous they get mucho bucks to present the details. Don’t expect to read a helpful universal message of what they learned and how they processed their experience to change their lives for the better that you can empathize with or learn from. If you want this type of experience, listen to gossip at your local watering hole, place of worship, quilting circle, etc., and seek out the person who screwed up and have coffee with them, if you want to waste your time that way…at least it will be free and you won’t be paying them money just because they happened to screw up and it hit the media.
Marion, I am unaware if you have already commented on this topic , but I think it is related, and it is my deep disdain for the book – 50 Shades of Grey. Bonnie’s comment puts it in that nutshell. How can this piece of “writing” and I use the term very loosely, have become so popular? And it is being made into a movie? This is all extremely disheartening, to say the least.
signed
Dumbfounded
The tragedy is that people we do and do not admire, good and bad, sometime decide to write their story, and some of them just aren’t good at putting their tales onto the page. Some have it, some do not.
Take the Rolling Stones for example. They rock, but their attempt at memoir makes me yearn for the good old days when they were tossing TVs out of the Holiday Inn window.
Three of them have attempted it. Ugh. It all stinks.
*Ron Wood guitarist for the Rolling Stones gives us wretched writing, yet he remains a good guitar player. Ditto for Keith Richards. His book Life reveals little. I want to know about what it was like to get his first million and write all those tunes with Mick, but his writing gives little inside info. But hey, he plays a mean guitar.
Another ditto for their original bass player, Bill Wyman. His book Stone Alone comes across as a miserable fight for accolades. Charlie and Mick are my only hope. I am still waiting.
How about a category name: “Just because I’m famous doesn’t mean I can write.” Maybe it could be a warning label like the surgeon general has on cigarettes?
This is interesting. We are often told when we have aspirations to be a writer, that we are not writers until we are published. We may pick up a book and think, Where is it going? Should I hang in there for a few more chapters?” “How did this book get published?” For me, I think if I am published, I want it to be damn good. I want to own it. Here are a few category names: “Not So Memorable Memoirs,” “Publication Does Not a Writer Make,” or “Publishing House Gone Mad Again”
The writing you describe, and really make me smile about, seems to be a sort of private welfare request. We the buyers/readers are being asked to subsidize some poor behavior and impoverished writing skill, hopefully filled with a bit of salacious detail, in exchange for our $$ investment. Shoring up the really poor and those whose lives have somehow fallen into real hardship is where I want to see my “welfare” investment go. Subsidizing bad behavior and enhancing a lifestyle based on the behavior isn’t a healthy investment plan in my economic world. Reading your list, I actually thought that I might like to see Buddy’s wife write her memoir. How she worked up to her final decision and action might really be worth the read!
How about “forgettable memoirs”?
Wow. This is related to people who have music albums and can’t sing. Sigh. Quite disheartening.
I agree with Bonnie and Katherine – there is no accounting for lack of taste these days.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful gift for writing!