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Memoir coach and author Marion Roach

Welcome to The Memoir Project, the portal to your writing life.

Required Reading: What to Read to Learn to Write Memoir? Calvin Trillin.

MY HUSBAND SINGS in a large chorale group, providing me on a regular basis with music of the season. Most recently what filled my home was the music of Easter, whose own particular brand of adulation and adoration got me thinking about how we praise others and how that is a tough assignment for writers. It is. Think not? Think again.

In writing, you can’t default to a repetitive chorus. And that’s for good reason, since while singing the same thing again and again provides emphasis and fervor, in writing the knowledge must be cumulative, not repetitive; what we learn in sentence number one must be built on in sentence two, paragraph three and chapter four. The knowledge grows, or the piece dies under the eyes of the reader, no matter how much the writer adores the subject.

The lesson? Hymns of pure adoration are best left to liturgical music and not for pieces of memoir.

How, then, to learn how to write memoir about love, using a spouse, child, parent or grandparent, a college roommate, perhaps, as the illustration? Here is my three-part plan to address that.

  1. Read Calvin Trillin
  2. Read Calvin Trillin
  3. And, oh yeah, read Calvin Trillin

Read Alice, Let’s Eat, and see not only how a man adores his wife but how he writes about it without once, ever in the book, as far as I can tell, using the word “adore.” Read Travels with Alice because it will reinforce everything you learned in Alice, Let’s Eat. Then read Remembering Denny, a tidy little book about American ambition illustrated by the life and death of a college classmate. And don’t stop there, of course, when there is so much more Trillin to enjoy.

I recently put myself on a strict diet of Trillin, and am making my way through his twenty-plus books, some of them for the third or fourth time. I do this when I have something big to write, choosing one writer and sticking to him or her. The one qualification must be that the writer is someone inimitable. While imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, it’s a waste of time for writers. You have you own voice, after all.

For my last three books I read only the marvelous William Maxwell while writing, his clean prose cleansing my pinging, over-stimulated brain every day. Right now it’s Trillin, my new best pal, whose ability to breeze is gorgeous. What do I mean by “breeze?” It’s a racetrack term used at morning exercises for letting the horse just run. Trillin breezes. The man just writes. He gets up and writes. He eats, he writes. He loves, he writes.

Now there is something deserving a hymn of praise.

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  1. Need a Required Reading List for Writers?
  2. Recommended Memoirs: New Books. Read and Learn How To Write Memoir
  3. Recommended Reading: “Her” A Memoir by Christa Paravanni

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Comments

  1. Ramona DeFelice Long says

    April 2, 2013 at 8:20 am

    What a fabulous, and well-deserved, tribute to a great writer. You are giving yourself a treat if you’ve started a diet of his work. Calvin Trillon is so good at jumping right into the story with a distinct and appropriate voice. Definitely worth studying and enjoying.

    His “American Stories” collection is one of my favorites. For writers interested in learning about creative nonfiction or literary journalism, it’s a well-rounded and memorable group of stories. Can you tell I’m a fan? Thank you for the reminder. I may join you on this diet.

    • marion says

      April 2, 2013 at 10:19 am

      Hi, Ramona:
      Lovely to meet you here. I am so glad you share my adoration of Calvin Trillin, whose work has inspired me since I first read American Fried while I was still in college. What a national treasure he is. Hope to read you here again soon.

  2. Nancy J. says

    April 2, 2013 at 11:56 am

    Dear Marion –
    I have requested several helpings of Calvin Trillin from my library and appreciate, as always, your unique perspective and guidance. Thanks for opening another door.
    I can’t help remembering though how much I loved reading the great hymnist Gertrude Stein. How she summoned up swells of insight and emotion from the repetitive chantings of her own special liturgy.
    Onward and upward towards honing one’s wits!

  3. Diane says

    April 2, 2013 at 2:03 pm

    I love Trillin, though have only read 3 of his books so far. About Alice is just beautiful, such a classy, moving meditation on marriage and loss, and its spareness lends it extra poignancy.

  4. Dee Matthews says

    April 2, 2013 at 5:43 pm

    Have not read any Trillin yet but will begin with “Alice, Let’s Eat” as soon as it comes in from my list at my library. Thanks for the heads-up Marion.

  5. Jo Page says

    April 2, 2013 at 9:30 pm

    I LOVE Calvin Trillin, though I’ve read very little of him and am hungry for more. I loved his introduction to Jane Kramer’s British cooking book in the eighties and I loved his tribute to his wife in The New Yorker just a couple of years ago. Clearly, my bookshelf needs to grow heavier.

  6. Barbara McDowell Whitt says

    April 5, 2013 at 12:33 pm

    Marion, from the adulation and adoration of Easter music to Calvin Trillin’s love of Alice – as they relate to memoir writing – you have once again crafted an intriguing post.

  7. Diane C says

    April 8, 2013 at 12:41 am

    I’m a follower of your sister’s blog and am so glad I revisited your blog. I’m going to check out Trillin’s books in an effort to make reminiscences of my 92 yo mother gain life. I’m a former journalist, albeit feature writer, and would make the stories stay alive for future generations.

  8. constance b. wilder says

    June 3, 2013 at 2:23 pm

    Marion—how wonderful to gorge on a diet of Calvin Trillin. When I needed to decide that I had a real book in me, I attended the Key West Literary Seminar. The subject Food as Muse. I couldn’t believe the feast of wonderful writers and Calvin Trillin–my hero of being able to write a few words and make them zing straight to the heart and brain was there. I had just finished reading Remembering Denny-a brave book about a silent subject. The book was my brother’s who died before he could share his story with his family-so what he underlined in Trillin’s book was heartbreaking.I mentioned to Calvin Trillin that I had just finished Remembering Denny when he signed the three books I bought (I had already read them). He looked up at me and said “oh, that is a sad book.” His Alice died the same year as my husband. It meant so much to me that he managed to honor their love without being maudlin. An inspiration I attempted to follow in my own book Above and Beyond Wellfleet. Thank you, Marion, for always also being a source of inspiration. Connie

    • marion says

      June 5, 2013 at 7:47 pm

      Hi, Constance:
      I’m so glad to read you here.
      Yes, Mr. Trillin is a bender I can recommend. So glad you agree.
      So glad you got inspiration from him for your book.
      Please come back soon and share more thoughts on our favorite genre.
      Best,
      Marion

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