MARY KARR’S NEW BOOK, The Art of Memoir, came in the mail from her publisher with a lovely letter asking me to read it. Oooh, I thought, now this is a job perk. A free book. Nice. And then I began reading, and that definition of a lifestyle perk swelled to a genuine appreciation that it’s not just the free books, of course, but the access to really good books that make this life the one I fought hard to get.
The Art of Memoir is as good as talking to a very smart friend about something you both hold dear, both struggle with and both want to do better every time you do it. Hmm, let’s see, when was the last time I had that conversation? Can’t place it. When was it that you last hunkered down with someone smarter than you are whose expertise was exquisite, as well as something she was willing to share? Rare, indeed.
Looked at this way, The Art of Memoir is more something to carry around than it is a primer. It’s more a book I’ve read in diners and waiting for the train than at my desk as a tool. It’s not a reference book and it’s not really a boot back to work. What it does best is boot you back to the bookshelves by demanding that you know of other wondrous books to read.
Of course it’s flawed. It’s a book on writing and I know well how hard those are to write. When she takes on voice, for instance, she does not nail how to find yours. But no teacher ever nails that. It’s not possible to define, describe and then prescribe anything other than not to sound like anyone else when it comes to teaching voice. But she gave it a good shove of a try, and that’s just fine.
But then there is this: She reads as well as anyone I know, citing the impeccable Michael Herr, whose Dispatches was the handbook for my generation on how to write. Read it. She tells you why, and she’s right, and I remember being hunched over the bar at the Museum Café at 3 AM after getting off my nightly 7:15 PM to 2:45 AM shift at The New York Times, and there being a place each night at the bar for me where John, the bartender, had saved my spot and shooed away any drunken inquiries about me while I ripped through that book until it fell apart in my hands.
In that, and her other superb references, Karr reminds us what it takes to write well. First, and foremost, we must read well above our heads. She rips through G.H. Hardy and Vladimir Nabokov, and rightly credits Richard Wright – not herself – for starting the memoir craze of the last century. And nowhere along the line is hers an easy reading list, or is hers a simple assignment of how to get better. And I love her for that.
Read it. Read the books she cites. And write. Your work can only get better.
Want my copy of her book? It’s yours. Leave a comment below and I’ll send it to you, margin markings and all. Why keep these perks to myself?
HOW TO WIN A COPY OF THE BOOK
I am giving away one copy, and all you have to do to win is leave a comment below about something you learned from the writing lesson or the excerpt. I’ll draw winners at random (using the tool at random dot org) after entries close at midnight Monday, October 19. Unfortunately, only readers within the US domestic postal service can receive books.
Good luck!
AND THE WINNER IS…
I hope you enjoyed this post.
The contest for this book is now closed. The winner of the book is Jayne Martin. Congratulations, Jayne! I’ll be in touch to send your book.
Jennifer Shenberger says
I had been wondering your thoughts on this book. I have passed it many times in the bookstore with wonderment. I am always poised to hear and read other authors reading recimmendations. Thanks for this excellent review. It’s a book I will be adding to my wish list.
Jayne Martin says
“First, and foremost, we must read well above our heads.” I call it “reading above my grade level,” but yes! There are books that I couldn’t understand a year ago, that I am completely engaged in today by doing just that. Funnily enough, when I first picked up “Liar’s Club” several years ago, I couldn’t get into it. It seemed way beyond me. Then I picked it up a couple of years later and it read like a primer. I immediately read everything else by Karr I could get my hands on. This new one is on my buy list, but to get your copy with you notes — Wow! That would be amazing.
marion says
Dear Jayne,
Congratulations!
You won the book by Mary Karr.
I will be in touch with you and send it along.
Thanks to everyone else who left a comment.
Russ Williams says
Congratulations to Jayne AND congratulations, Jayne!
Shirley Hershey Showalter says
I was hoping you would offer your opinion on Mary Karr’s new book, and you didn’t disappoint, Marion. I’ve been enjoying hearing Mary on Fresh Air and a host of other interview sites. She brings verve and fresh imagery and audacity to everything she does. I had the honor of having dinner with her about six years ago and of reading most of what she’s written. A fabulous mentor.
Judith Henry says
Mary Karr’s references and your marginalia seem like the perfect combination. Did you dog-ear the pages, too? Looking forward to reading the book, even if I’m not the lucky winner.
Alberta says
Oh, Marion, I am vacationing in SoCal, and every bookstore has been sold out of this book. I thoroughly enjoyed her Fresh Air interview and have read several enthusiastic reviews. Fingers crossed on this one!
Casey Mulligan Walsh says
Oh, Marion, I too have been awaiting your thoughts on this one. I so enjoyed Mary’s Fresh Air interview and have been itching to get my hands on a copy of The Art of Memoir. Pity she hasn’t devised an ingenious way to teach us how to unearth our own voice in three easy steps (tongue planted firmly in cheek). Still, Mary’s wisdom complemented by your thoughts…can’t think of a better deal. Fingers crossed.
Mary Kay Feather says
What a challenge to read beyond your grade level and not get discouraged by the beauty of the writing. I know reading is the key to writing, but how does one read critically to learn and not be daunted? I immediately took to your description of reading in bars, diners, awaiting trains — I’m a mad bibliophile myself – but who is G. H. Hardy? Ah ha, says Wikipedia, a mathematician. No wonder he passed me by. I can’t wait to see her list. And take the advice to simply retype these author’s words if my own don’t satisfy me yet.
Diahann says
Inspired by the reminder that a great book by a talented writer doesn’t have to be a perfect book. I love Karr’s writing and am looking forward to read what she has to say about the craft. I’m going to have to order Dispatches right away.
Kathy Sievers says
I love her recommending that we read well above our heads. Reading, reading, reading…below grade level, at grade level, above grade level, academic books, philosophy, books about beauty…read it all. Reading feeds my love of words and helps me recognize what rings true in other writers and in myself, thus building up my journey to my own voice via writing that inspires.
DEBBIE WEIL says
Marion,
I just finished teaching a 2-day writing workshop here on the coast of Maine. I had suggested that attendees read The Memoir Project before the workshop. They loved it and we referred to it repeatedly during our work together. Hats off to you on your lovely, smart, and wise book.
Yours in finding emotional truth,
Debbie
Lisbeth says
Sounds like a book I should read. The protag in my novel attempts refuses to do anything I wouldn’t –just today another person said maybe I should write a memoir my life will stop controlling my fiction.
AmyMak says
I love receiving and passing along books that have personal notes, dog-earred pages, and underlining. It’s such a personal and intimate view of another reader’s experience – highlighting something not to be missed! I’d love to read this book, but would also love see what you, Marion, were struck by: two mentors in one book! Thank you for the review. Fingers crossed here, too.
David Bruns says
Funny you should post this today. I just listened to a radio interview with Mary Karr!
Ronn Jerard says
Thank yo so much for sharing this valuable post, Marion.
After reading Mary Karr’s THE LIAR’S CLUB a few weeks ago, I became an instant fan. I love how she writes as if she is simply conversing with the reader. No hard sell on how to write a memoir, but how the words flow from sentence to sentence, idea to idea, and event to event…it all enfolds in a way that seems to allow the reader to peek in on the private moments of her life.
The point about reading well over one’s head strikes me a pure wisdom; Stephen King seems to say the same thing in his own way. With Mary and Stephen as my inspiration, I look forward to completing my memoir and, hopefully, using what I learn from the masters to inspire me to great accomplishments as a memoirist.
Sherrey Meyer says
I have been hoping you would share your thoughts on Mary Karr’s new book, and you have. Reading over our heads is an apt instruction for writers of any genre, and I know how much it has helped me to read as much as I can, whether I understand it or not, about memoir as I write my own. Though I’ve been meaning to pick this book up, I haven’t yet. And now won’t be able to until I know I can uncross my fingers!
Christi Craig says
I love this reminder, that to write well, “we must read well above our heads.” This isn’t easy, but as you say, writing isn’t easy. This sounds like such a wonderful book!
Martha Beattie says
It has been years since I read Mary Karr’s memoir and remember it in detail. How to attain to the magnanimous attitude that infuses good memoir. I would love to read her book on writing and could use some comments in the margins.
vivienne verdon-roe says
Marion, first I want to tell you I have found the Memoir Project beyond helpful. A godsend. I was frozen, overwhelmed with material and then noticed your book on my bookshelf, bought years ago and unread. After reading it practically in one sitting, I poured out my vomit first draft. What a relief!
I love that you recommend another author’s book on memoir. Says something about you.
I am hoping to hire you to read my manuscript!
Thanks for your work. Very grateful that you are sharing your wisdom about this topic and inspiring us all to become better memoirists.
Charlie C. says
Read above your head.
Reading as writing.
Do not expect anyone to show you your voice. You already have it. Listen!
diane heath says
Can’t wait to read it!
Annette says
Yes, please! I recently ended a five year run with a weekly family life column that I loved, and I’m processing what to do next. I have yet to read a memoir how-to as inspirational as yours, but I’m ready for another try:)
Lynn Rabin Bauer says
I was on the fence about this one–how many books about memoir does one person need?–but now I’m convinced. It sounds like good reading and not only about memoir. Thanks for your take on this book!
Sandra says
Thanks for your review. I look forward to reading Karr’s book. Meanwhile, I’m making my way through your Pinterest memoir list, which I have pinned to my bulletin board (the actual, old-fashioned version).
Susan West Kurz says
I’m trying to write a memoir and I think I’ve learned that it’s looking more like an autobiography. I’m in knee deep need of an editor . I’ll be in the Kingston/ Hudson area around Nov 9-11. Want to have tea and see what possibilities of working together might be? Do I really get a copy of the Mary Karr book? If so my address is 56 Wright Lane Jamestown RI 02835
Enjoy the day and have another,
Susan
marion says
Dear Susan,
Please come see me on email at mroachsmith@gmail.com to discuss working on your memoir. I’d love to hear more about it.
No, unfortunately, you do not automatically win a copy of Mary Karr’s book.
As stated in the box above, your comment makes you eligible to be selected at random.
Good luck!
Kathleen Pooler says
Marion, I love your straight-shooting approach to this review. I have read all of Mary Karr’s memoirs and heard her interviews so your words of her candor and humanness resonated. I especially appreciated your comments about “”teaching voice” and the improbability of being able to do that effectively. What is clear is that anyone who chooses to write memoir has to find a way to claw their way to the finish line. Thanks for sharing your enlightening and honest review. Mary’s book is on my list.
Lisbeth Mizula says
I subscribe to Woman’s World, sometimes the funnies section is reading above my head.
Donna Behen says
Hi Marion. I’ve been eagerly awaiting this book, and would love a copy with your margin markings.
I hadn’t heard of Michael Herr or Dispatches before reading this review, so that one goes on my library list for sure.
Karen Cavanagh says
I’ve been looking for this book! The reading list sounds like a prescription for winter and the work.
Connie says
Thank you, Marion. I read The Paris Review because you said to. I will read Dispatches (and am ashamed that I haven’t) because you said “Read it.” I am always energized and inspired by your advice and experiences. The image of you reading Dispatches at the bar in the middle of the night with a protective bartender standing by — I was on the next bar stool. If you say this new Mary Karr memoir is a must read. I will read it. If my name is drawn, the real prize will be your comments.
Lori Johnstone says
Wow, Marion!! What an opportunity. Thank-you. I listened to Mary Karr on NPR recently, and I also have also listened to you on ‘Talking with my mouth full.’ I have read every book on the writing of memoir that I can get my hands on, including yours. I love your very real advice on writing memoir. I know you as someone I can trust, and should listen to.
I take all the advice I can get, and I shoot it straight to my soul.
I would love this!!
Lori Johnstone says
I was so excited to win something with your comments in the margin, I failed to say what I learned!! All scrabbling hands to the keyboard, oftentimes it takes a second for the mind to catch up.
What I learned from your review is that memoir is not easily lassoed, and that we should push ourselves to greater heights by reading difficult works.
Also, we are human, and do the best we can in a challenging medium, and that, yes, even Mary Karr can miss the mark a bit and still come away with a highly useful offering.
Jennifer R. Hamilton says
Marion, thank you for this review, as well as a tiny window into a season of your reading journey. Your review reminds me once again—and I need this constant reminder—that excellent writing demands lofty reading and a lot of it. It takes hard work. Even if I don’t win this book I will go out and purchase it. But I’m not sure I would’ve been so raring to do so without having read your thoughts about it. Thank you again.
Joely Johnson says
Heard so much about this book — good and bad — but I knew you’d have the nitty gritty review for us, Marion.
I have a seriously dangerous pile of books by my bed, classic tsundoku (https://www.reddit.com/r/books/comments/1b8fxk/tsundoku_informal_the_act_of_leaving_a_book/) but this one would make it to the top. xoxox
Russ Williams says
Memoir is a way to find ones way into and to express even the unmentionable truth of human experiences. The likely subject, whether human or an activity, is perhaps even more interesting when it is obscure, not famed in the public eye. This morning I was discussing some characters from my youth and the work they did, occupations that are today historical only or not only unlikely but that in some quarters discouraged. And still there is a thirst in he human heart for stories of the men and women who brought light and love into the lives of others from the backwaters where they lived then and the homes where they are first heard of, remembered, or known along a well-worn path cutting across between backyards or city apartments today. Anyone who is able to help others understand that generalized obscurity is not the condemnation of forgetfulness and urge them to write more and better about it is doing great service to us all.
Bonnie McMillen says
I took your class at the Chautauqua Institution a few years ago and loved it. That’s when I spend time with writers who are better than myself. This past summer I took two writing classes, both were wonderful and I think I improved and learned a lot. I was asked to read on the porch on the Friday of the last day and loved it. I’m still thrilled when I think of it.
Michelle Handwerker says
I was so excited when I heard that Mary Karr was writing on memoir. I pre-ordered and then ended up with 2 copies. I adore her and her brash way. I wrote to her not long ago to see if she would work with us on our memoir and her words, though bowing out, were inspirational when she said: “…I have my own shit to shovel” Brilliant!
I am devouring her book and looking forward to working on her recommendations one by one and rereading her Art of Memoir as well as her other books over and again. It’s not so much about reading above my head as reading a woman who is so honest that she is writing from a level not above but deeper within from her soul…and that’s what I find most inspiring about Mary Karr.
Nice to be in touch with you Marion. Your little book was one of the first that I sought to guide me forward and I will always cherish the day I spent at the Memoirama with you and your sis at her place out in the boonies of upstate N.Y. Love and Blessings, Michelle
Michelle Sevigny says
“And nowhere along the line is hers an easy reading list, or is hers a simple assignment of how to get better. And I love her for that.”
Another truthspeak about how only practicing writing will get you better at writing.
A chance to read behind the scenes at your margin notes?? Ooo yes please, how cool!
Deb Smith says
Always good to hear your opinion! –djs
Stacey Morris says
Exciting to see so many people excited about good writing! Nice work, Marion. I just read about Ms. Karr in the October Town & Country. October’s also my birth month so I’m gifting myself with a copy of her book, which sounds like sacred text for the writer to be embraced and toted around like a favorite doll ?
Robin Botie says
Yow! Mary Karr’s new book has been on my wish list for weeks as I get closer to approaching the bottom of my pile of summer reads. And to read the copy that you wrote all over – well, how rich an opportunity that would be. Multi-dimensional. Okay, for what I learned: no one is going to be able to give me an exact, easy lesson on finding and projecting my own voice. And I’ve been looking. A work in progress, this.
I can’t believe it’s almost a year since I attended the workshop you did with your sister. It was amazing to spend the whole day with the two of you.
Pat Anders says
And now, at last, I take the frightening, unknowing plunge into putting pen to paper after so many years of saying, “tomorrow” I will begin to wrist in earnest. It is tomorrow.
Linda says
Thanks for the review. I am looking foward to reading this book- hint, hint to my family. This will make a good birthday gift. I always find good ideas from everything you post about memoir.
Tina Lincer says
Thank you, Marion. So looking forward to reading Karr’s new book. Your words and thoughts are always an added inspiration to Just Keep Writing – and trying to figure out this pesky but thrilling memoir business.
Tsh Oxenreider says
I’ve been wanting to read Mary Karr’s new book ever since I heard of its upcoming release, so it whets my appetite to think of reading it with you in the margins. Would love the chance! Thanks.
And amen to writing in the voice I already have. Just had to tell myself this as I wrapped up my word count for the day and sat down to take a breather and catch up on my blog reading…. Happy to have found this in my queue.
Robyn Ryan says
Thank you for this honest and practical review. Reading it, and reading about your passionate reading of Dispatches (which I own but haven’t read!) has warmed up my writing fires. I’d love to see your markings in the margins. Btw, another list of suggested memoirs that I would love to see is the one created by a Harvard professor for J. R. Moehringer, while he was working on The Tender Bar (which I LOVED).
Deborah says
I’ve enjoyed Karr’s work for the past two decades. What have I learned? That even the best, especially the best, take the time to read great writing to improve their games. Can’t wait to read her new book.
Kelley Pattison says
How refreshing to read a review that actually critiques the book. Thank you for pointing out the good and the bad. Not everything is perfection.
Evelyne Holingue says
A book written by Mary Karr can only be a gem. I’ve read her three memoirs and still get the shivers, years after. As a non-native speaker I take very seriously (because it’s true) the advice to read above our heads. Books about writing, in my opinion, should not be textbooks on how to write, but inspirational and filled with the author’s essential must-read books. Mary Karr being everything but a lecturer must have known to do that in her new book. Of course, I’d love to get my hands on it! Thank you for your post and offer and for your blog, which I read with great interest and pleasure, although I rarely comment. Best to you and your readers.
Marcia Moston says
I shall just ride the wave of all the above comments that express my thoughts. Please count me in as a reading-writing memoir fan.
J.D. Hanninen says
Perhaps it is that no one (even great teachers such as you and Ms. Karr) can tell us how to find our voice. If Dorothy were writing her memoir, she might explain that even the brilliant and benevolent Good Witch, Glinda, could not reveal the secret of how to find our way home …. that we must each discover it for ourselves.
I’ve read that according to the Quaker wisdom, we are all called upon to let our lives speak. But how? I seem to recall the lyrics sung by Jimmy Durante and Frank Sinatra in the movie, It Happened In Brooklyn: ” … That the song’s gotta come from the heart!” I believe a memoir’s gotta come from the heart, too.
I believe there is a beauty and eloquence and power to our words whenever given freely, openly, honestly, from open heart to heart. I believe that if I could only learn to do this, once and for all, I could cease my writer’s pursuit of the authentic voice I have always had. Maybe tomorrow … I’ve tried clicking my sneakers together to no avail.
Ruth says
Any writing course worth its weight in words suggests to read read read! I think that is essential. Mary Karr reads! I have gained inspiration and ideas from other authors writing… and lots of ideas. Great advice.
Yasmin Snowberger says
Your statement “it’s not just the free books but access to really good books that make this life the one I fought hard to get” made me stop and think about my own life. I do have to fight to make the time to write and steal a space in my house to work. But it’s also a privilege. Thanks for the thoughtful review.
Sharon says
In writing my own memoir, a process that has spanned more years than I care to admit, I’m always looking for a shove to push me forward into pulling my thoughts together. A few writers have been able to give me that. I hope Mary Karr is one of them,.
Karen Jahn says
Thanks, Marion, for providing a wonderful text over my head. If Karr’s book on memoir is half as vivid and true as her Paris Review interview, what larks. Her distinctive voice reflects character, history, and style pithily:
“For ten years I didn’t have time to shave both legs the same day.” and the juxtaposition when talking about God in prayer: “So I’m not fooling him with that ‘If it’s your will’ shit.”
Annette says
I have yet to read a how-to memoir book as straightforward, helpful, and funny as yours. Your high recommendation of Mary’s makes me want to pick up a copy today; I would love to glean from her insight and experience!
toni says
Yes, I agree, writing is difficult, excruciating. Mary Karr’s lesson? You must have courage, patience, humility, erudition,savvy,stubbornness,wisdom,aesthetic sense. I’m captivated by her. Count me in!
Elizabeth M Racicot says
Marion,
Love the image of you at a bar at three in the morning reading DISPATCHES by Michael Herr. I think Karr’s comment to “read above our heads” is right in the sense that some of what I read challenges me. Right now I’m reading an early novel by James Salter called LIGHT YEARS and it’s that kind of book.
marion says
Light Years is one of my favorite books. Oh my. A work of beauty and deep understanding by a great man.
Zach says
As a millennial, I greatly appreciate the emphasis you put on reading quality memoir and literature in order to become a better writer. Like most people in my generation, I am bombarded with a plethora of media in my everyday life, most of it unnecessary in content. I am more likely to pick up Kim Kardashian’s selfie book than anything of substance in a Barnes and Noble, just because that is what I am comfortable with. Well, that was how I was a year or two ago. It takes people like you, who are recommending others with books to read. Not books that are just good, but books that will make them better writers. I hope that I win Mary Karr’s book with your annotations. But even if I don’t, I will be reading it soon enough. And that is thanks to your suggestion.
Judy says
A resource which makes you dig into your own writing thoughts as well as leading you to books that take you down a learning yellow brick road.
marion says
Thank you to all who left comments here.
Jayne Martin is the winner of the Mary Karr book.
Congratulations to Jayne!