New Memoir to Read: Mary Karr
MARY KARR’S NEW BOOK, The Art of Memoir, came in the mail from her publisher with a lovely letter asking me to read it. Oooh, I thought, now this is a job perk. A free book. Nice. And then I began reading, and that definition of a lifestyle perk swelled to a genuine appreciation that it’s not just the free books, of course, but the access to really good books that make this life the one I fought hard to get.
The Art of Memoir is as good as talking to a very smart friend about something you both hold dear, both struggle with and both want to do better every time you do it. Hmm, let’s see, when was the last time I had that conversation? Can’t place it. When was it that you last hunkered down with someone smarter than you are whose expertise was exquisite, as well as something she was willing to share? Rare, indeed.
Looked at this way, The Art of Memoir is more something to carry around than it is a primer. It’s more a book I’ve read in diners and waiting for the train than at my desk as a tool. It’s not a reference book and it’s not really a boot back to work. What it does best is boot you back to the bookshelves by demanding that you know of other wondrous books to read.
Of course it’s flawed. It’s a book on writing and I know well how hard those are to write. When she takes on voice, for instance, she does not nail how to find yours. But no teacher ever nails that. It’s not possible to define, describe and then prescribe anything other than not to sound like anyone else when it comes to teaching voice. But she gave it a good shove of a try, and that’s just fine.
But then there is this: She reads as well as anyone I know, citing the impeccable Michael Herr, whose Dispatches was the handbook for my generation on how to write. Read it. She tells you why, and she’s right, and I remember being hunched over the bar at the Museum Café at 3 AM after getting off my nightly 7:15 PM to 2:45 AM shift at The New York Times, and there being a place each night at the bar for me where John, the bartender, had saved my spot and shooed away any drunken inquiries about me while I ripped through that book until it fell apart in my hands.
In that, and her other superb references, Karr reminds us what it takes to write well. First, and foremost, we must read well above our heads. She rips through G.H. Hardy and Vladimir Nabokov, and rightly credits Richard Wright – not herself – for starting the memoir craze of the last century. And nowhere along the line is hers an easy reading list, or is hers a simple assignment of how to get better. And I love her for that.
Read it. Read the books she cites. And write. Your work can only get better.
Want my copy of her book? It’s yours. Leave a comment below and I’ll send it to you, margin markings and all. Why keep these perks to myself?
HOW TO WIN A COPY OF THE BOOK
I am giving away one copy, and all you have to do to win is leave a comment below about something you learned from the writing lesson or the excerpt. I’ll draw winners at random (using the tool at random dot org) after entries close at midnight Monday, October 19. Unfortunately, only readers within the US domestic postal service can receive books.
Good luck!
AND THE WINNER IS…
I hope you enjoyed this post.
The contest for this book is now closed. The winner of the book is Jayne Martin. Congratulations, Jayne! I’ll be in touch to send your book.
Yes, please! I recently ended a five year run with a weekly family life column that I loved, and I’m processing what to do next. I have yet to read a memoir how-to as inspirational as yours, but I’m ready for another try:)
I was on the fence about this one–how many books about memoir does one person need?–but now I’m convinced. It sounds like good reading and not only about memoir. Thanks for your take on this book!
Thanks for your review. I look forward to reading Karr’s book. Meanwhile, I’m making my way through your Pinterest memoir list, which I have pinned to my bulletin board (the actual, old-fashioned version).
I’m trying to write a memoir and I think I’ve learned that it’s looking more like an autobiography. I’m in knee deep need of an editor . I’ll be in the Kingston/ Hudson area around Nov 9-11. Want to have tea and see what possibilities of working together might be? Do I really get a copy of the Mary Karr book? If so my address is 56 Wright Lane Jamestown RI 02835
Enjoy the day and have another,
Susan
Dear Susan,
Please come see me on email at mroachsmith@gmail.com to discuss working on your memoir. I’d love to hear more about it.
No, unfortunately, you do not automatically win a copy of Mary Karr’s book.
As stated in the box above, your comment makes you eligible to be selected at random.
Good luck!
Marion, I love your straight-shooting approach to this review. I have read all of Mary Karr’s memoirs and heard her interviews so your words of her candor and humanness resonated. I especially appreciated your comments about “”teaching voice” and the improbability of being able to do that effectively. What is clear is that anyone who chooses to write memoir has to find a way to claw their way to the finish line. Thanks for sharing your enlightening and honest review. Mary’s book is on my list.
I subscribe to Woman’s World, sometimes the funnies section is reading above my head.
Hi Marion. I’ve been eagerly awaiting this book, and would love a copy with your margin markings.
I hadn’t heard of Michael Herr or Dispatches before reading this review, so that one goes on my library list for sure.
I’ve been looking for this book! The reading list sounds like a prescription for winter and the work.
Thank you, Marion. I read The Paris Review because you said to. I will read Dispatches (and am ashamed that I haven’t) because you said “Read it.” I am always energized and inspired by your advice and experiences. The image of you reading Dispatches at the bar in the middle of the night with a protective bartender standing by — I was on the next bar stool. If you say this new Mary Karr memoir is a must read. I will read it. If my name is drawn, the real prize will be your comments.
Wow, Marion!! What an opportunity. Thank-you. I listened to Mary Karr on NPR recently, and I also have also listened to you on ‘Talking with my mouth full.’ I have read every book on the writing of memoir that I can get my hands on, including yours. I love your very real advice on writing memoir. I know you as someone I can trust, and should listen to.
I take all the advice I can get, and I shoot it straight to my soul.
I would love this!!
I was so excited to win something with your comments in the margin, I failed to say what I learned!! All scrabbling hands to the keyboard, oftentimes it takes a second for the mind to catch up.
What I learned from your review is that memoir is not easily lassoed, and that we should push ourselves to greater heights by reading difficult works.
Also, we are human, and do the best we can in a challenging medium, and that, yes, even Mary Karr can miss the mark a bit and still come away with a highly useful offering.
Marion, thank you for this review, as well as a tiny window into a season of your reading journey. Your review reminds me once again—and I need this constant reminder—that excellent writing demands lofty reading and a lot of it. It takes hard work. Even if I don’t win this book I will go out and purchase it. But I’m not sure I would’ve been so raring to do so without having read your thoughts about it. Thank you again.
Heard so much about this book — good and bad — but I knew you’d have the nitty gritty review for us, Marion.
I have a seriously dangerous pile of books by my bed, classic tsundoku (https://www.reddit.com/r/books/comments/1b8fxk/tsundoku_informal_the_act_of_leaving_a_book/) but this one would make it to the top. xoxox
Memoir is a way to find ones way into and to express even the unmentionable truth of human experiences. The likely subject, whether human or an activity, is perhaps even more interesting when it is obscure, not famed in the public eye. This morning I was discussing some characters from my youth and the work they did, occupations that are today historical only or not only unlikely but that in some quarters discouraged. And still there is a thirst in he human heart for stories of the men and women who brought light and love into the lives of others from the backwaters where they lived then and the homes where they are first heard of, remembered, or known along a well-worn path cutting across between backyards or city apartments today. Anyone who is able to help others understand that generalized obscurity is not the condemnation of forgetfulness and urge them to write more and better about it is doing great service to us all.
I took your class at the Chautauqua Institution a few years ago and loved it. That’s when I spend time with writers who are better than myself. This past summer I took two writing classes, both were wonderful and I think I improved and learned a lot. I was asked to read on the porch on the Friday of the last day and loved it. I’m still thrilled when I think of it.
I was so excited when I heard that Mary Karr was writing on memoir. I pre-ordered and then ended up with 2 copies. I adore her and her brash way. I wrote to her not long ago to see if she would work with us on our memoir and her words, though bowing out, were inspirational when she said: “…I have my own shit to shovel” Brilliant!
I am devouring her book and looking forward to working on her recommendations one by one and rereading her Art of Memoir as well as her other books over and again. It’s not so much about reading above my head as reading a woman who is so honest that she is writing from a level not above but deeper within from her soul…and that’s what I find most inspiring about Mary Karr.
Nice to be in touch with you Marion. Your little book was one of the first that I sought to guide me forward and I will always cherish the day I spent at the Memoirama with you and your sis at her place out in the boonies of upstate N.Y. Love and Blessings, Michelle
“And nowhere along the line is hers an easy reading list, or is hers a simple assignment of how to get better. And I love her for that.”
Another truthspeak about how only practicing writing will get you better at writing.
A chance to read behind the scenes at your margin notes?? Ooo yes please, how cool!
Always good to hear your opinion! –djs
Exciting to see so many people excited about good writing! Nice work, Marion. I just read about Ms. Karr in the October Town & Country. October’s also my birth month so I’m gifting myself with a copy of her book, which sounds like sacred text for the writer to be embraced and toted around like a favorite doll ?
Yow! Mary Karr’s new book has been on my wish list for weeks as I get closer to approaching the bottom of my pile of summer reads. And to read the copy that you wrote all over – well, how rich an opportunity that would be. Multi-dimensional. Okay, for what I learned: no one is going to be able to give me an exact, easy lesson on finding and projecting my own voice. And I’ve been looking. A work in progress, this.
I can’t believe it’s almost a year since I attended the workshop you did with your sister. It was amazing to spend the whole day with the two of you.