New Memoir to Read: Mary Karr
MARY KARR’S NEW BOOK, The Art of Memoir, came in the mail from her publisher with a lovely letter asking me to read it. Oooh, I thought, now this is a job perk. A free book. Nice. And then I began reading, and that definition of a lifestyle perk swelled to a genuine appreciation that it’s not just the free books, of course, but the access to really good books that make this life the one I fought hard to get.
The Art of Memoir is as good as talking to a very smart friend about something you both hold dear, both struggle with and both want to do better every time you do it. Hmm, let’s see, when was the last time I had that conversation? Can’t place it. When was it that you last hunkered down with someone smarter than you are whose expertise was exquisite, as well as something she was willing to share? Rare, indeed.
Looked at this way, The Art of Memoir is more something to carry around than it is a primer. It’s more a book I’ve read in diners and waiting for the train than at my desk as a tool. It’s not a reference book and it’s not really a boot back to work. What it does best is boot you back to the bookshelves by demanding that you know of other wondrous books to read.
Of course it’s flawed. It’s a book on writing and I know well how hard those are to write. When she takes on voice, for instance, she does not nail how to find yours. But no teacher ever nails that. It’s not possible to define, describe and then prescribe anything other than not to sound like anyone else when it comes to teaching voice. But she gave it a good shove of a try, and that’s just fine.
But then there is this: She reads as well as anyone I know, citing the impeccable Michael Herr, whose Dispatches was the handbook for my generation on how to write. Read it. She tells you why, and she’s right, and I remember being hunched over the bar at the Museum Café at 3 AM after getting off my nightly 7:15 PM to 2:45 AM shift at The New York Times, and there being a place each night at the bar for me where John, the bartender, had saved my spot and shooed away any drunken inquiries about me while I ripped through that book until it fell apart in my hands.
In that, and her other superb references, Karr reminds us what it takes to write well. First, and foremost, we must read well above our heads. She rips through G.H. Hardy and Vladimir Nabokov, and rightly credits Richard Wright – not herself – for starting the memoir craze of the last century. And nowhere along the line is hers an easy reading list, or is hers a simple assignment of how to get better. And I love her for that.
Read it. Read the books she cites. And write. Your work can only get better.
Want my copy of her book? It’s yours. Leave a comment below and I’ll send it to you, margin markings and all. Why keep these perks to myself?
HOW TO WIN A COPY OF THE BOOK
I am giving away one copy, and all you have to do to win is leave a comment below about something you learned from the writing lesson or the excerpt. I’ll draw winners at random (using the tool at random dot org) after entries close at midnight Monday, October 19. Unfortunately, only readers within the US domestic postal service can receive books.
Good luck!
AND THE WINNER IS…
I hope you enjoyed this post.
The contest for this book is now closed. The winner of the book is Jayne Martin. Congratulations, Jayne! I’ll be in touch to send your book.
And now, at last, I take the frightening, unknowing plunge into putting pen to paper after so many years of saying, “tomorrow” I will begin to wrist in earnest. It is tomorrow.
Thanks for the review. I am looking foward to reading this book- hint, hint to my family. This will make a good birthday gift. I always find good ideas from everything you post about memoir.
Thank you, Marion. So looking forward to reading Karr’s new book. Your words and thoughts are always an added inspiration to Just Keep Writing – and trying to figure out this pesky but thrilling memoir business.
I’ve been wanting to read Mary Karr’s new book ever since I heard of its upcoming release, so it whets my appetite to think of reading it with you in the margins. Would love the chance! Thanks.
And amen to writing in the voice I already have. Just had to tell myself this as I wrapped up my word count for the day and sat down to take a breather and catch up on my blog reading…. Happy to have found this in my queue.
Thank you for this honest and practical review. Reading it, and reading about your passionate reading of Dispatches (which I own but haven’t read!) has warmed up my writing fires. I’d love to see your markings in the margins. Btw, another list of suggested memoirs that I would love to see is the one created by a Harvard professor for J. R. Moehringer, while he was working on The Tender Bar (which I LOVED).
I’ve enjoyed Karr’s work for the past two decades. What have I learned? That even the best, especially the best, take the time to read great writing to improve their games. Can’t wait to read her new book.
How refreshing to read a review that actually critiques the book. Thank you for pointing out the good and the bad. Not everything is perfection.
A book written by Mary Karr can only be a gem. I’ve read her three memoirs and still get the shivers, years after. As a non-native speaker I take very seriously (because it’s true) the advice to read above our heads. Books about writing, in my opinion, should not be textbooks on how to write, but inspirational and filled with the author’s essential must-read books. Mary Karr being everything but a lecturer must have known to do that in her new book. Of course, I’d love to get my hands on it! Thank you for your post and offer and for your blog, which I read with great interest and pleasure, although I rarely comment. Best to you and your readers.
I shall just ride the wave of all the above comments that express my thoughts. Please count me in as a reading-writing memoir fan.
Perhaps it is that no one (even great teachers such as you and Ms. Karr) can tell us how to find our voice. If Dorothy were writing her memoir, she might explain that even the brilliant and benevolent Good Witch, Glinda, could not reveal the secret of how to find our way home …. that we must each discover it for ourselves.
I’ve read that according to the Quaker wisdom, we are all called upon to let our lives speak. But how? I seem to recall the lyrics sung by Jimmy Durante and Frank Sinatra in the movie, It Happened In Brooklyn: ” … That the song’s gotta come from the heart!” I believe a memoir’s gotta come from the heart, too.
I believe there is a beauty and eloquence and power to our words whenever given freely, openly, honestly, from open heart to heart. I believe that if I could only learn to do this, once and for all, I could cease my writer’s pursuit of the authentic voice I have always had. Maybe tomorrow … I’ve tried clicking my sneakers together to no avail.
Any writing course worth its weight in words suggests to read read read! I think that is essential. Mary Karr reads! I have gained inspiration and ideas from other authors writing… and lots of ideas. Great advice.
Your statement “it’s not just the free books but access to really good books that make this life the one I fought hard to get” made me stop and think about my own life. I do have to fight to make the time to write and steal a space in my house to work. But it’s also a privilege. Thanks for the thoughtful review.
In writing my own memoir, a process that has spanned more years than I care to admit, I’m always looking for a shove to push me forward into pulling my thoughts together. A few writers have been able to give me that. I hope Mary Karr is one of them,.
Thanks, Marion, for providing a wonderful text over my head. If Karr’s book on memoir is half as vivid and true as her Paris Review interview, what larks. Her distinctive voice reflects character, history, and style pithily:
“For ten years I didn’t have time to shave both legs the same day.” and the juxtaposition when talking about God in prayer: “So I’m not fooling him with that ‘If it’s your will’ shit.”
I have yet to read a how-to memoir book as straightforward, helpful, and funny as yours. Your high recommendation of Mary’s makes me want to pick up a copy today; I would love to glean from her insight and experience!
Yes, I agree, writing is difficult, excruciating. Mary Karr’s lesson? You must have courage, patience, humility, erudition,savvy,stubbornness,wisdom,aesthetic sense. I’m captivated by her. Count me in!
Marion,
Love the image of you at a bar at three in the morning reading DISPATCHES by Michael Herr. I think Karr’s comment to “read above our heads” is right in the sense that some of what I read challenges me. Right now I’m reading an early novel by James Salter called LIGHT YEARS and it’s that kind of book.
Light Years is one of my favorite books. Oh my. A work of beauty and deep understanding by a great man.
As a millennial, I greatly appreciate the emphasis you put on reading quality memoir and literature in order to become a better writer. Like most people in my generation, I am bombarded with a plethora of media in my everyday life, most of it unnecessary in content. I am more likely to pick up Kim Kardashian’s selfie book than anything of substance in a Barnes and Noble, just because that is what I am comfortable with. Well, that was how I was a year or two ago. It takes people like you, who are recommending others with books to read. Not books that are just good, but books that will make them better writers. I hope that I win Mary Karr’s book with your annotations. But even if I don’t, I will be reading it soon enough. And that is thanks to your suggestion.
A resource which makes you dig into your own writing thoughts as well as leading you to books that take you down a learning yellow brick road.
Thank you to all who left comments here.
Jayne Martin is the winner of the Mary Karr book.
Congratulations to Jayne!