How to Choose a Memoir Topic

HOW TO CHOOSE a memoir topic? It’s one of the toughest aspects of writing memoir. What to write about? Where to get memoir ideas? As a memoir coach and writing teacher, I have lots of examples in how to do this and share them with my students. One of my favorites is telling the tale of how I communicate with my friends.

“I need stamps.” It’s the code my oldest friend and I have between us. Received on email, read in a text message, or heard in a teary voicemail, it means, “I’m in real trouble and I need you now.” It also make a good place from which to discuss how to choose a memoir topic.

I don’t know how many times we’ve used that phase about stamps, but I do know it was learned the hard way, borne out of my adulthood understanding that when a sister is in trouble, the last thing she needs is for me to call and say, “Let me know what I can do.”

I now say, “Here’s my schedule. I go to the supermarket on Thursdays, the post office on Fridays, the food co-op on Saturdays. I can add your list to mine, pick up your kids these days and drive them on these.” Unless it’s Priscilla, who, being the efficient trauma nurse she is, years ago reduced this to, “I need stamps.”

Friends for 60 years, we acquired our worst bad habits together, taught each other the lyrics to The Addams Family sitcom, danced on the adjoining seats at Sly and the Family Stone when they played Madison Square Garden, shared the same first major boyfriend (what a lucky, lucky boy he was), buried our fathers, buried one of her beloved children and stood up as each other’s bridesmaids, all of which contributed to the lexicology that is this private language for two.  So when the phone message was left recently that said, merely, “Call me,” I knew three things: No one was dead; I could wait until Saturday to return the call; no stamps were needed.

What’s your code?  What do you say to a friend to send up a flare? What is your characteristic thing to bring or deliver when a friend is in need? What are the rituals that characterize you? Think about that when struggling with how to choose a memoir topic and your writing life will improve.

Want more help? Join me in live, online memoir classes

Start here, with The Memoir Project System Page, to understand the breadth of all the classes we teach.

Want to jump right in? Here’s a sampling of our classes.

Memoirama: Live, 90 minutes. Everything you need to write what you know.

Memoirama 2. Live, two hours. Limited to seven writers. What you need to know to structure a book.

How to Write Opinion Pieces: Op-eds, Radio Essays and Digital Commentary: Live, 90 minutes. Get your voice out into the world.

And keep in mind that I am now taking names for the next  Master Class, the prerequisites for which are Memoirama and Memoirama 2. Live, once a month. Limited to seven writers. Get a first draft of your memoir finished in six months.

Photo credit: Bob Klannukarn, Visual Hunt