HOW TO WRITE characterization in memoir? It’s an essential skill, and one you must master. Characterization informs us on who the people are in your story, what they are doing there and what impact they have on the tale. It could not be more important to get this right. How? I have a few writing tips on characterization in memoir right here for you.

If you knew us only for an instant, you might think us to be something that we’re not. That’s because I’m the loud sister. Always have been. And loud gets mistaken for tough, especially in women. But Margaret is the tough one, hand-down. Don’t believe me? Two years ago, during an ice storm, she sent me a generator. Delivered to the door.

That characterizes her. No mere basket of cheer for Margaret; when her sister was in trouble, that sister sent power tools. She’s tough, and never tougher than on gifts, though not only in the giving.

Perhaps the best example of good characterization in memoir about us is this example of her toughness. One Christmas, she was on the receiving end of a sweater I knit her. To date, I have never seen her wear it. And this is after I let her pick out the yarn, the color, and the pattern: wool, gray with no flecks of color, no cables, bobbles or anything to break up the boredom of the knitter. Made to spec, I have never once seen it on the woman.

The big sister screws in her jeweler’s eye and may or may not deign to actually wear the gift, but in accepting it, accepts the giver.

I’m the younger sister and true to pecking order, I not only find her response to the sweater hilarious, but when she’s around, I’m always either wearing or using at least one thing she’s given me. I also use the moisturizer she recommends, the shampoo she started me on, as well as the lip balm she does. Whenever I read those social-science pieces about birth order I always laugh, so clothed are they in clinical language while naked of the real-life illustrations that any sister can provide.

Here, from my side, is what the Christmas adult big-sister/little-sister relationship looks like: The older hands a wrapped box to the younger, the other nods enthusiastically, opening it, shucking her shirt beneath the Christmas tree, and putting the new one right on her body. Reversed, with the little sister as giver, the big sister screws in her jeweler’s eye and may or may not deign to actually wear the gift, but in accepting it, accepts the giver. And on they go.

If you want more on this, I’ve previously written about finding characterization. In terms of memoir writing, our lives are ripe with know-how.  Character is revealed in what we choose to eat, for instance. And have you ever found yourself dividing the people in your life via the great, indelible characters of Winnie The Pooh? You can. When writing memoir, archetypes are ripe with ways to define your characters.

And, if that’s not enough, listen in and read along to the truly great Jane Hamilton, author of some of the best novels I know, about how she identified her characters at the beginning of a recent novel based on what book they both reached for in a library, and which character with whom each identifies in that classic tale. It’s perfect.

Of course, in life, these identifying roles get tricky which, in itself, makes great copy. These quirky roles can irk the hell out of husbands, boyfriends and girlfriends. Many a lover has been asked the ridiculous holiday question by an onlooker of, “Why do you let her do that?” or heard, “But you don’t wear pajamas” in the aftermath. That, too, is the stuff of great characterization. See how this works?

But trust us on this: Sisters know best. Along with the candles, tinsel or bourbon balls, these are the prescribed moments that both make terrific memoir and keep the holiday train moving forward. You want to get to that turkey and stuffing? Let us enact our ancient ritual. Question it, and we might just cook your Christmas goose.

Want more help? Join me in live, online memoir classes

Memoirama: Live, 90 minutes. Everything you need to write what you know.

Memoirama 2. Live, two hours. Limited to seven writers. What you need to know to structure a book.

How to Write Opinion Pieces: Op-eds, Radio Essays and Digital Commentary: Live, 90 minutes. Get your voice out into the world.

And keep in mind that I am now taking names for the next  Master Class, the prerequisites for which are Memoirama and Memoirama 2. Live, once a month. Limited to six writers. Get a first draft of your memoir finished in six months.

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