Writing Lessons: On Characterization, With Leanne Shirtliffe
In a new series called Writing Lessons, my first guest teacher is Leanne Shirtliffe, who tackles the topic of characterization. Her book, Don’t Lick The Minivan and Other Things I Never Thought I’d Say to My Kids, is just out this week from Skyhorse Publishing. Leanne will soon be joined by a bunch of fine writers you will meet here, all of whom are going to teach us a thing or two about writing memoir. Writing Lessons will include a piece on how to write memoir, an excerpt, and a chance to win the featured book. Read all the way through for more.
Characterization
By Leanne Shirtliffe
When I finished one of the many drafts of my humor memoir, Don’t Lick the Minivan: And Other Things I Never Thought I’d Say to My Kids, I sent my manuscript to Beta readers. I remember pressing send, feeling like I’d leapt from a plane with a parachute packed by a sticky-fingered toddler. Two of my Beta readers gave me both honest and harsh feedback. “We love it,” they boasted in separate emails, “but…”
Their hesitation was over the same issue. Neither of my Beta readers thought I had portrayed my husband Chris fairly.
Part of the reason they felt my characterization of him was flat was because they knew my husband, from the stories I shared with them over wine and also from meeting Chris on a couple of occasions.
I thought about their criticism for days. Then I approached my manuscript as an objective observer, looking only at references to Chris. They were right. I knew my husband was often tender, loving, and kind; I lived with him, after all. Still, by constantly going for the joke, I portrayed little of that side of him. Unless I did some revision, my readers would see nothing but a funny, TV-watching, caricatured dad who was a foil for my jokes.
I dreaded these revisions: Would they take away my humor? My voice? The pace?
I feared needlessly. I let his actions speak for him. I remember one example vividly. It was the scene, included as an excerpt below, where I’m stressing at the side of the crib of our sleeping newborn twins, wondering if they’re dead. It was one of several scenes where I solved the flat-character problem by adding a dialogue beat—an action interwoven with the conversation—in this case my husband kissing my forehead. It was a simple addition, an action I’m sure he did. The use of basic body language demonstrated his inner feelings but didn’t interrupt the repartee between us; instead, it fleshed out his character and our relationship more.
These revisions made my writing and the book stronger. For memoir revision, I now believe that one of your Beta readers should be someone who knows your life relatively well and is a good enough friend to give you honest feedback on how holistically you portrayed the people close to you who have a prominent role in your manuscript.
Perhaps a good Beta reader is like a good spouse, someone who will leap with you out of that plane with a semi-functioning parachute.
Don’t Lick the Minivan: An excerpt
On occasion Vivian and William managed to sleep at the same time. There’s something peaceful about sleeping babies. Unless you think they’re dead.
One night, Chris and I stood over them and watched our two angels asleep in the same crib, feeling like the world’s best parents—or at least better than a tortoise who has dumped her eggs in a hole and swam off into the ocean. We smiled at the perfect moment.
Until I said, “They’re not dead, are they?”
“I don’t think so,” Chris answered. He looked at me. “Do you think they’re dead?”
We hovered over the crib like two novice marine biologists inspecting a polluted aquarium for signs of life. “I can’t see them breathing,” I said.
“You can’t see me breathe either.”
“Point for you.”
“Do you think we should wake them up?” Chris asked.
“No. You never wake a sleeping baby. Waking two is criminal.”
“What should we do then?”
“Let’s jiggle them,” I said.
“Jiggle? You want to jiggle them?”
“Don’t look at me like I’m about to pick them up and Shake n’ Bake them. I’m just talking about jiggling.”
“Jiggling? What does that mean?”
I defined the word. “I’ll just put my hand on one of their backs and wiggle it to see if they move.”
“That’s wiggling, not jiggling,” he said.
“Thanks, Webster.” I placed my hand on each baby’s back and jiggle-wiggled.
They both moved.
“They’re not dead.”
“Not dead at all.”
“Do you think this qualifies me to guest star on CSI?” I asked.
“Not likely.” He kissed me on my forehead. “Maybe Animal Planet.”
About Leanne Shirtliffe
I let the writers compose their own bios. Here’s hers. Leanne Shirtliffe is the author of DON’T LICK THE MINIVAN and Other Things I Never Thought I’d Say to My Kids. She’s also the mother of tween twins, a phrase that’s hard to say after two glasses of wine. She writes for the Huffington Post and Nickelodeon’s NickMom.com and has been published by The Christian Science Monitor, The Calgary Herald, and The Globe and Mail. When she’s not wasting brain cells tweeting, she teaches teens who are slightly less hormonal than she is. She lives in Calgary because she likes complaining about the weather. Buy Leanne’s book. Money will go to support her children’s therapy. Or her own.
HOW TO WIN A COPY OF THE BOOK
I hope you will enjoy this new series, Writing Lessons, which will run twice a month on the blog. Featuring well-published writers of our favorite genre, in each installment the series will take on one short topic that addresses how to write memoir, and will include a great big book giveaway.
It’s my way of saying thanks for coming by.
The contest for this book is now closed. Please see the next installment of Writing Lessons, this week with the great Katrina Kenison.
The winner of the Leanne Shirtliffe book, Don’t Lick the Minivan, is Patti Hall. Congratulations, Patti! I’ll be in touch to send your book.
I learned that the addition of a simple action by a character in your memoir can sometimes increase the reader’s understanding well beyond the dialogue.
Thanks for starting this series, Marion! And thanks for introducing Leanne! I struggle as well with how to fairly characterize family members, especially my easy-going husband. That simple kiss on the forehead spoke volumes–the perfect example of “showing” rather than “telling.” Love the book title, too!
I was just referred to your site from a fellow blogger…. enjoying everything I have read so far!
I think it is common among married female humorists to use their spouses as a foil–in the Phyllis Diller mode. Say a couple of things about Fang…”He’s short and cheap.” We understand it is to get a laugh.
But how do you broaden a persistently abusive spouse? Or sibling? Or parent? Think of Julia Roberts in Sleeping with the Enemy. Is it necessary to show a kinder side of such characters?
Marion, I love your blog, your book–The Memoir Project, and the Roach sisters in general. Thank you.
Leanne’s tip for memoir revision is fantastic – asking a good friend who knows you and the people you portray in your story well enough to be one of your beta readers. This friend can help you draw a true picture of the people who inhabit your tale.
Hi –
This was a particularly timely writing lesson as I am struggling to balance the humor in my own work-in-progress (though please note that ‘lessons’ is misspelled in the title!). It is SO hard to create 3-dimensional fiction characters, let alone fully flesh-out the real-live people that make up memoir writing. And it is so hard to see your own work objectively, as it all “makes sense”. The trick is to find Beta writers that will be honest – I’d love thoughts on where to find such angels!
Lori
I love this – all of it – and reminds me of the time you, Marion, suggested I write on the pleasure of my (first) husband’s company which absolutely transformed my direction and characterization of him. You can only write so much negative prose about a former spouse before it takes over the story, negatively. I actually felt better doing so :)
Lessons learned. The importance of objectivity, get a great beta reader or two!
I learned that the benefit of beta readers is invaluable. It is worthwhile to consider their opinions seriously.
I also learned what a beta reader is…. I must live in a void… I had never heard of this. Well at least I had never heard it called a beta reader.
I like Leanne’s tip about having a beta reader be someone who knows your life. I’ve always been taught not to let people close to you read your drafts since they may influence the way you revise with their feedback. But in this instance, I understand why that could be helpful to your story, making it stronger in the end.
Love this series! Thanks for putting it together. I’ll be reading.
I learned about your memoir book through an on-line blogging course I took with Jeff Goins–he raved about your work.
I love your book, and I love this blog!
What I learned from Leanne Shirtliffe post, and excerpt, is that using an action word is a great story-telling tool, “he kissed me on my forehead”.
Even the name of her book has a fun verb, lick.
Verbs create an instant action picture, I see a kid walking past a van and licking it on the way. I get that picture because my kid did that too.
I have a question. In your book you said, (sorry I don’t have a page number to refer to, I downloaded the audio version of your book) don’t use descriptions that include movies and other media references when describing a past time. How come?
Very helpful. I’ve encountered the same thing in my writing. I adored my brother Bill who was exceptionally intelligent and warm, but he was also involved in some of the funniest moments of my life.
I like the suggestion about putting in nonverbal “dialogue.” Wonderful! Thanks.
This is great. I’m somewhat new to writing memoir and really enjoyed this. I would also really like to read the book – it sounds great! While I have read that you should have people read your work who know their stuff when it comes to memoir, I can see how it would also be really important to have your husband or someone close to you read it as well. Thanks so much.
Hi, all.
This contest is now closed. The winner is Patti Hall.
Congratulations, Patti!
I’ll be in touch to get your mailing information.
Please go read this week’s Writing Lessons guest blog.
And come back soon.