IT’S A QUESTION I GET ALL THE TIME: How to write a memoir that reads like a novel? How to make it a page-turner and give it a fiction-like feel in its fine plot? All good questions, and perhaps no one is more qualified to answer them than Marcia Butler, author of the highly-acclaimed, The Skin Above My Knee. The book earned enormous praise in reviews in The New York Times, The Washington Post, and more. I had the great pleasure to work with Marcia, so I know what she did, how she works and something about how she thinks. But it’s how she writes that shows you her real goods, and she generously volunteered to write what is below for the readers of The Memoir Project blog. Enjoy.
How to Write a Memoir that Reads Like a Novel
by Marcia Butler
“Music is liquid architecture. Architecture is frozen music.” Goethe
Implicit in this quote is that all art forms are connected by the notion of shapeshifting. This is, of course, a simplistic reduction. But to add to this, all creative arts begin with small parts and end up with a totality which is greater than those parts. Music – note by note. Buildings – brick by brick. Painting – brush stroke by brush stroke. Dance – step by step. Writing – word by word. In the end, I believe all art forms are versions of storytelling and the best stories are told from the perspective of truth and integrity; craft and discernment. What can be more real than a memoir?
One of the highest compliments a memoirist can receive is to have her book characterized as a page turner certainly, but even better, that it reads like a novel. The protagonist is fleshed out and the story line is revealed in a cohesive yet artful manner. The structure of the book beats with necessary rhythm and as such, pulls the reader in deeply. The protagonist (the author) is both vulnerable and heroic. Ancillary characters add dimension and complexity. There is ambiguity, mystery and resolution. These descriptions could be attributed to a great novel and also a beautifully rendered memoir.
The craft of writing a memoir and a novel is more alike than different. To my mind, the only real difference is that with memoir, the plot which is the author’s life story, is completely known. In fact, the author knows much more than can ever be reasonably included in the memoir. A life is full and large, and part of the memoirist’s job is to decide which scenes to select for inclusion. For instance, childhood scenes alone could take up a lot of page space, but the trick is to use those that best propel the narrative forward. Additionally, many people touch our lives, but the memoirist must decide which of those people will best support her unique story from a dramatic point of view.
By contrast, a novel, though it may be inspired by a real-life event, is made up. Some novelists prefer to outline structure and plot before they begin to write. They identify the landmarks and “write toward” that outline. I know many, including myself, who figure it out as we go – kind of like walking blind down a path. As the story progresses the characters themselves “decide” what to do. This is the mystery of fiction – not knowing the trajectory until the novel is finished, or at least until a draft is complete. But plot and character decisions, whether in fiction or memoir, remain the same: the author must include scenes and people which will capture the interest of the reader, who in either case, doesn’t know story.
Fiction can be crafted in first person POV and work nicely as a memoir-like novel. On the other hand, memoir – someone’s actual life story – does not necessarily lend itself well to fictionalizing. This is because life is, at times, just too odd to be believed. The things that happen to us as human beings are often beyond imagining and the reader cannot suspend disbelief. And that is why it’s vital to approach memoir carefully and understand that not all the events in our fascinating and sometimes devastating lives should be in the book. This is where we put on our novelist hat.
KILL:
Write many scenes but be prepared to ditch most of them. In the fiction world, this is called “killing your darlings”. But take heart! No amount of writing is ever wasted, even if you ultimately don’t use the material. When you write, revise and then discard you are excavating your way to the material that you will use. Writing is linear. I liken it to practicing difficult music when I was a professional oboist. One does not just sit down and play things perfectly the first time. Musicians spend lots of time practicing what they cannot play. With this comes an ability to tolerate discomfort for many hours. And all of this frustration is not in vain because it is part of perfecting the music for a performance. The same can be said for writing and tossing out. Writers must learn to tolerate the crappy first, second and third drafts, knowing that they are all, in fact, necessary to the process. No one jumps on the perfect words the first time around. This is the case for memoirs and novels.
BUILD:
World building is essential in memoir and fiction. Just because the memoirist knows her environment inside and out, place setting of the story must bounce off the page. We need to see clearly where your people are interacting. You are standing on a street corner, but what do the buildings on that corner look like? Is the sun out that day? Or is it raining? Give the reader a bird’s eye view to the environment you are creating. If the scene takes place inside, are the walls covered in wallpaper or a vibrant paint color? How is the room decorated? Is the space a mess or neat as a pin? Is there a coffee stain on the white marble counter? Does your mother shudder because the lemonade is too tart? How does that look? Can you describe the exact quality of a warm, moist ocean breeze? What kind of scream do you hear on the third floor of the house? Muffled? Sustained? All of these details tell us vital information about the world our characters live in. Once you get into the habit of attending to this aspect of story-telling – you will bring each scene to life.
SENSE:
The next layer of world building, is to include the senses. People not only behave, they see, smell, hear, taste and feel. Make sure that “you” and your characters are responding to these senses on a regular basis. This is how the protagonist (you) can be fleshed out, as if using close third POV in fiction where the author is sitting on the shoulder of the character. You may not remember much about this, but it is important that the reader hear what you hear. See what you see. Taste what you taste. Smell what you smell. Get creative; fill in the gaps. The essential scene is a memory – and then you must fill in the scene with sense memory as much as possible.
FLASH:
In fiction, back flashes are useful to tell the reader not only what happened in the past, but also why characters behave as they do in the present. It is a clever device to weave material through a memoir as well. Mixing chronology is a way to engage the reader further because a back flash is unexpected, somewhat like a tempo change in music, or a pop of color on a canvas. Though, the way one harkens back must be organically tethered to the action in present time. There should be a very good reason we need to know this piece of history just then.
MUSE:
Introspection is vital in a memoir. The author needs to, at times, write about conclusions she has come to regarding the events in her life. Another word we might use is interiority, which is what fiction writers utilize when they are in very close POV. The author is literally inside the mind of the protagonist and is musing about what is happening. This is the expansion of the lens – inside and outside – back and forth – which memoirists and novelists need to bring a wide bandwidth of psychology to their story.
The spine of a book, metaphorically speaking, is the plot or the story line. This is true for memoir and for a novel. From this fundamental tree trunk, the memoirist makes the story come alive through all the devices and craft elements that novelists use. Indeed, all art forms work this way and I find it useful to think broadly when approaching my writing. I hear in music. I see art in a museum. I feel interiority of character in dance. Architecture helps me know culture. If the memoirist brings all this to bear in telling her life story, she will create a page turner in the best sense of the term. Just like a novelist.
Author’s bio
Marcia Butler’s nationally acclaimed memoir, The Skin Above My Knee, was one of the Washington Post’s “top ten noteworthy moments in classical music in 2017”. She was chosen as 2017 notable debut author in 35 OVER 35. Her work has been published in Literary Hub, PANK Magazine, Psychology Today, Aspen Ideas Magazine, Catapult, Bio-Stories and others. Her first piece of flash fiction appears in the anthology One Hundred Voices from Centum Press. Marcia was a 2015 recipient of a Writer-in-Residence through Aspen Words and the Catto Shaw Foundation. Her forthcoming debut novel, Pickle’s Progress, will be released in Spring 2019 from Central Avenue Publishing. Marcia is currently making a documentary film exploring the complex and intersecting aspects of creativity, called The Creative Imperative. Marcia was a professional oboist for twenty-eight years until her retirement in 2008. During her musical career, she performed as a principal oboist and soloist on the most renowned of New York and international stages, with many high-profile musicians and orchestras – including pianist Andre Watts, and composer/pianist Keith Jarrett. The New York Times hailed her as a “first-rate artist”. She lives in New York City.
HOW TO WIN A COPY OF THE BOOK
I hope you enjoy Writing Lessons. Featuring well-published writers of our favorite genre, each installment takes on one short topic addressing how to write memoir.
It’s my way of saying thanks for coming by.
Love the author featured above? Did you learn something in the how-to? Then you’ve got to read the book. And you can. I am giving away one copy, and all you have to do to win is leave a comment below about something you learned from the writing lesson or the excerpt. I’ll draw winners at random (using the tool at random dot org) after entries close at midnight Monday, May 14, 2018. Unfortunately, only readers within the US domestic postal service can receive books.
Good luck!
Alison Singh Gee says
I loved Marcia’s brilliant distillation of the process and hopes for writing one’s life story. I plan to teach Marcia’s essay in my UCLA creative nonfiction class. Thank you for the showcase of rich, literary insights on writing.
Marcia says
Thank you Alison! Glad it will get out to your talented students!
Jody says
When I read these two sentences, I felt a sense of relief: “No amount of writing is ever wasted, even if you ultimately don’t use the material. When you write, revise and then discard you are excavating your way to the material that you will use.” I’d been thinking recently of how many pages I’ve written for my first novel, how many I’ve thrown out, how many times I’ve rewritten just one page (especially the first one!), and sometimes I’ve felt like I was just spinning my wheels. Glad to know I’m not!
Dana Schwartz says
I loved this article so much, and for me, the biggest take away was world building. Sometimes I take for granted that the reader will know what I do, but of course I must paint the world and set the scene in order for them to truly inhabit it with me. Her memoir sounds utterly intriguing!
Marcia Butler says
Dear Dana,
I’m so glad you gleaned this from my essay. Many thanks for the read.
Happy writing to you!
ox Marcia
Deirdre says
The Sense section resonated with me. I tend to go for dialogue and rush to get to the point quickly, yet I know that as a reader my mind uses its senses to fully experience scenes. And as a golfer, I am intimately aware of the need to practice and let go of what doesn’t work. The integration of music, sport, art and writing was so well said and heartening. I often use a quote I was told relative to Martial Arts, but is useful to all chosen challenges, ‘The Art is long, Life is short.’ (If I don’t win your book Ms. Butler, I will buy it for sure! Warm thanks to you and Marion Roach for inspiration – an overused description for generosity of heart and experience.)
Marcia Butler says
Deirdre!
Thank you so much for your comment. And I agree, golf is so much a head game – just like writing. And interesting that the next game is never informed by the one you played the day before. Which is what many authors say is true when writing their next book. It does not fold over the way one hopes!
Many thanks for reading my memoir (in advance!)
ox Marcia
Karen DeBonis says
I’ve been struggling with whether to add my current day perspective to my memoir, in which most of the action happened twenty years ago. So it was helpful to read that “Introspection is vital in a memoir. The author needs to, at times, write about conclusions she has come to regarding the events in her life.” And I’ll look up “interiority,” a new word for me. Thanks for all the insights!
Marcia Butler says
Dear Karen,
From what I understand from publishing houses, that long lens perspective is expected in a memoir. However, use it with a light touch. The time shift could be jarring.
Much luck to you with your memoir!
ox Marcia
Mary says
Wonderful insights into how to make one’s story come alive.
Marcia Butler says
Many thanks for the read Mary!
ox Marcia
Jean says
I’d like to learn more about the KILL section described here, such as how to decide what to discard and what to keep and build on. Thanks to Marcia for this list!
Marcia Butler says
Jean!
Keep getting content down. The whole of the book, or essay, will tell you what is to remain. It’s kind of a woo woo thing. The work needs to actually “know itself”. This is a long discussion obviously!
ox Marcia
Carol says
Flash: “There should be a very good reason we need to know this piece of history just then.” I have read, i.e. been instructed, to keep writing chronological as much as possible. This insight makes sense as writers need freedom tell their story more like an engaged conversation rather than following a linear A to Z.
Marcia Butler says
Hi Carol,
Yes. There are recommendations, of course. But if writers didn’t break rules, well, we wouldn’t have thousands of classics on our shelves. The chronological thing is useful, surely. It is a start and it may be how the piece ultimately ends up. However, as an artist, I encourage you to experiment. Go with your gut. Be very brave. It you don’t try it your way, you will never know.
oxox Marcia
Judith Magee says
Dear Marcia:
Thank you for sharing your process with us. Connecting writing to various art forms brought together what I intuitively know. But your use of the word “shapeshifting” made it more conscious.
Your final remarks, for example, made this notion of shapeshifting come home: “I hear in music. I see art in a museum. I feel interiority of character in dance. Architecture helps me know culture.” Wow! As you say, writing combines this notion with the emphasis on world building, tapping into the five senses, and the other techniques you mention.
I hope that I can aspire my writing with your techniques!
Marcia Butler says
Dear Judith,
Thank you so much for appreciating this. And really, isn’t everything connected? Having worked seriously in 3 art forms, I find such commonality everywhere – to the point where the creative flow actually feels the same. So I recommending that everyone dip into whatever world interest you. You can find inspiration for your writing everywhere.
OX Marcia
Jen says
This post really resonated with me, especially the “Kill” section, where Marcia likened writing to practicing music. Having played the violin for over 20 years, I practiced a lot of what I could not initially play, and only over time did I become comfortable playing various pieces. I still think that killing your own written darlings is more difficult than killing what doesn’t work when playing someone else’s, but hopefully it will get easier!
Marcia Butler says
Dear Jen,
You know so well how it feels to stick to something that very difficult. Day after day. Then gradually the piece of music takes shape and becomes beautiful and whole. I write a lot about music in my memoir; part of it is about my career as a professional oboist. The analogy to tossing out in writing is not exact but rather runs side by side. It is the process of creating content and working through this very diligently that allows the work to “know itself”. Thus, many things you wrote will be discarded because those passages do not serve the story. I can’t say that things will “get easier”, but it is immensely fulfilling when that whole does appear!
OX Marcia
Jeanne says
So very helpful and inspiring. I printed to hang on my wall, right next to my memoir’s argument. Thank you.
Marcia Butler says
Dear Jeanne,
I’m so glad my essay has inspired you. Keep writing – the world needs your voice and your story.
OX Marcia
Jilliann Woods says
Hello Marcia,
“…musing about what is happening. This is the expansion of the lens – ”
It is what comes naturally to me as I write, this musing, but I’ve been struggling with whether and how to include my observations. Your perspective of expanding the lens for the reader is perfect.
Your comments on back flashes address another of my current challenges –
actually, your entire post is helpful and motivating.
Thank you,
Jilliann
Marcia Butler says
Dear Jillian,
What a thrill to hear how my words have clarified some things for you. In general, I find that if something opens up for me as a possibility in the piece, I try it out. It appears to me for a reason – it is in my consciousness. And questioning too much just leads to doubt. The idea of not knowing can be tolerated if we are brave in our expansion of possibilities. Hope this isn’t too dense to be meaningful – but the upshot is: try everything and be prepared for failure. This process will help the distillation for clarity about what IS correct.
OX Marcia
Jilliann says
Thank you Marcia, I am copying your advice and posting it on my writing wall :)
Marcia Butler says
Dear Jillian,
I am honored to be on your writing wall! Stay with it. The writing life is worth it.
OX Marcia
Theresa says
Marcia’s article covers everything (I believe) a person needs to incorporate into memoir without being preachy or talking to us like 6th graders. Clearly stated and excellent examples along the way. I teach creative writing and memoir and this week I will share the article with my class. It is through writing that we become better writers and Marcia’s statement, “When you write, revise and then discard you are excavating your way to the material that you will use” encourages us to accept all of this as part of the process. I will read this article over and over again as I too write my memoir. Thank you!
Marcia Butler says
Dear Theresa,
What an honor! I am thrilled that you got a lot out of my essay and also that you will share with your students. Please do let me know what they think. Process is everything and I am glad that I made this clear for you. Again, many thanks for this outreach!
OX Marcia
Cara Koch says
Your comments give me the courage to play with time and sequence in what I have written, without feeling I have “wasted” writing it chronologically in the first draft.
Thank you!