How to Write About Family? Here are Some Rules to Write By

HOW TO WRITE ABOUT family is a classic dilemma of many memoir writers. It’s one of the questions I get asked all the time in my memoir writing classes. And since I have a sister, husband and a child, and I’ve written about all of them, I really do get how tricky it can be. I mean, you don’t want to make them crazy, right?

I remember well the day my daughter told me I had to stop writing about her. It was hard, but I agreed. Kind of (you notice I’m writing about her now, right?). It may happen to you. You, too may be forbidden, so until then, let’s get writing, shall we?

I have four basic rules for how to write about family, and they run the gamut from what not to write about to what to remember to keep in mind all the times. In a nutshell, forget cutesy, anything adorable or all-too-personal. Those simply are too small.

Instead, think about those things that will resonate with your readers which are never the inside jokes of your own family, the sigh-ing-ly adorable things your kid did, or the rants about your spouse. Instead, as in writing any piece of memoir, think about the universal.

What can you write about that others, after reading it, will either learn something, have something confirmed, or be pushed a little to think even more deeply about their own parenting?

Want some examples? I’ve got them right here, each illustrating one of the four rules of writing about family.

1. Do not be overly sentimental. For this, I offer you a piece on what I call birthday party hell. As you can tell, I am not sentimental about these bashes.
2. Always choose to write small to big. Life’s small moments are what best illuminate the larger themes of living.
3. Explore quandaries others have. For instance, are imaginary friends dangerous for your child’s development? 
4. Never be afraid to repeat yourself. If a topic is popular, explore it further, like I did here, with more on an imaginary friend.

Want a bonus round? Here’s one from the archives that illustrates how to write about conflict.

Want more help? Join me in live, online memoir classes

Start here, with The Memoir Project System Page, to understand the breadth of all the classes we teach.

Want to jump right in? Here’s a sampling of our classes.

Memoirama: Live, 90 minutes. Everything you need to write what you know.

Memoirama 2. Live, two hours. Limited to seven writers. What you need to know to structure a book.

How to Write Opinion Pieces: Op-eds, Radio Essays and Digital Commentary: Live, 90 minutes. Get your voice out into the world.

And keep in mind that I am now taking names for the next  Master Class, the prerequisites for which are Memoirama and Memoirama 2. Live, once a month. Limited to seven writers. Get a first draft of your memoir finished in six months.